The Day Off
by Ianto'sCoffeeMinion
Summary: IM's between Ianto and Rhys during Ianto and Jack's day off! JANTO mentioned ! Rhys/Ianto Friendship! and slight Gwen-Bashing! Enjoy Please R&R!


**TeaBoy83 **is online.

**HarwoodsEnthusiast **is online.

**TeaBoy83: **Hey Rhys!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Heya mate! How's the day off? Gwen won't stop moaning!

**TeaBoy83: **Sounds like her! I bet she thinks we took the day off just to annoy her, but as I explained to her, the rift is quiet and we have the alert already directed to our phones, if its anything big we'll come back and help out. She knows she's due a day off soon anyway!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Naw mate! You can keep her for as long as you want, with the mood she's in today I'm glad she's at work, but it don't stop her calling me every 10 minutes! I was cleaning the oven, and Bob's your uncle, the phone goes off! Nearly banged my head 'cos it made me jump!

**TeaBoy83: **When are you not cleaning the oven? Ahahaha! And noooo I wouldn't dream of it! -Take her! Take her pleaaaaaaase! I'll pay you! (Don't tell her I said that!)

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **You're lucky she ain't reading this 'cos if she heard you say that she'd do her nut! And leave my Oven-clenlyness alone Mr . CleanFreak!

**TeaBoy83: **Mowhaha!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **So how are ya?

**TeaBoy83: **Alright, little sore though…

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **TMI! TMI!

**TeaBoy83: **NOT IN THAT WAYYY! I've got sunburn!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Oh, sorry mate, I just assumed, you know?

**TeaBoy83: **Not that it I aint that as well, I swear Jack's idea of a day off is sex non-stop!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **That's Jack for ya! Ahaha! A Sex-A-Thon!

**TeaBoy83: **AHAHAH!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **So where are ya? You can't be in wales if you've got sunburn! Has Jack whisked you away someplace hot?

**TeaBoy83: **Pfft! Jack! Away from The Hub! I don't think so, I swear he's never left there for less than 2 hours in his life! Naaaah mate were in Pembrey Sands in Carmarthenshire, you know, *in best presenting voice* home of beaches, cyclists, and nature walks…

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Then how the hell did you get sunburn! It's hardly the Bahamas!

**TeaBoy83: **It can be quite hot, depending on which way the winds blowing ahah!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Still don't get how on earth you got sunburn in Pembrey!

**TeaBoy83: **I have a pale complexion, and burn easily…what can I say?

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Ah well, at least you've got The Captain to kiss it better! Mowhaha!

**TeaBoy83: **No he bloody aint! He is not getting anywhere near my sun-burn! Bloody cains!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Ahw didums!

**TeaBoy83: **Watch it! I'm the only Sarcasm King around here!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **I thought you were Coffee King?

**TeaBoy83: **I'm both! :)

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **You cant be both! I think your gunna have to hand your title over to me! Hehehe!

**TeaBoy83: ***Pouts* Well at least it's in good hands :)

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Thanks mate! I'll treasure it!

**TeaBoy83: **Like you treasured that Cheesecake I brought you!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **But that's foooooooood! And it looked so good I HAD to eat it!

**TeaBoy83: **Yeah, with a fork and SLOWLY! Not scoff t down! No wonder you felt sick after! Doesn't Gwen feed you?

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **No she stares meeeee :( I'm a poor starving man in need of a good food suppliest!

**TeaBoy83: **That's not even a real word! And Shame on Gwen, I guess I'll have to be your house husband behind Jack's back so you get a good meal!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Ahwwww thanks mate! But if Jack begins to suspect, I'm playing dumb…just so you know!

**TeaBoy83: **Thanks for that! let me deal with the Jack-wrath!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Ohhh you'll beeee fiiiine! You said it yourself everything ends in sex anyway!

**TeaBoy83: **All true :)

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Gwen tells me you're a great cook!

**TeaBoy83: **Naw, I'm not that good, just stick it in a pan and wait, that's my motto :)

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Well whatever you're doing, it sounds delish! Mmmmm

**TeaBoy83: **I'll bring you some home-made pasta today for your lunch if you want :) I made plenty and Jack's not eating all of it! I swear he dosent know when to stop! If you put it in front of him he'll eat it, regardless of if he's hungry or not!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Ah well…same here mate…please don't kill me!

**TeaBoy83: **Naaah, I'll spare you…

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Oooh tanks!

**TeaBoy83: **As long as you let me file some of your paperwork! Your receptionist is so BADDDD, it hurts :(

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **As long as you don't tell the wife, your fine :)

**TeaBoy83: **Wouldn't dream of it, I've seen her idea of a packed lunch…and it's not particularly inviting…

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Ahww she tries her best!

**TeaBoy83: **'Suppose :)

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Sooooo why didn't you go to Porthmadog, I thought Jack would appreciate it there! They have loads of Railways and boats!

**TeaBoy83: **NO WAAYYYYY! He'd be dragging me along to EVERYTHING and I'm hardly one for steam engines and shit…I went with him once and ill NEVER do it again! I was bored out of my skull! And the state of them trains! They needed a good rub down!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Ahahah! Poor you…and rub down? AHAHAHAH!

**TeaBoy83: **Your bad innuendo astounds me…

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **You said it!

**TeaBoy83: **You picked it out…of all my ranting that's the word you pick out! You're as bad as Jack, Selective hearing when it suits him!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Soz mate, accept my *Virtual flowers*

**TeaBoy83: **Ahwww, no one's ever brought me flowers beffoooooreeee

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **I'll drop a coupla hints to Jack when I see him!

**TeaBoy83: **Thanks mate! I'm putting them in a *Virtual vase* and *Virtually watering * them!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Your taking it a bit far now ahahahah! No more virtual flowers for you me thinks!

**TeaBoy83: **NOOOOO! Give me back my virtual flowers! I can't live without themmmmmm!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Only joking, I'd never take them away from you, there probably better in your hands than mind, you've seen how Bob ended up!

**TeaBoy83: **Who's Bob?

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **The potted plant that was dead on the end of my desk! The one you ridiculed me over for months!

**TeaBoy83: **Ohhhhh I know what you mean! That was unacceptable treatment of a plant Rhys Williams! You should be ashamed of yourself!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: ***Hangs head in shame* But your brought me a Bonsai to replace it! Its stilllll ALIVEEEEEE!

**TeaBoy83: **They're harder to kill :)

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **I'm gunna try and kill it to prove you wrong! Mowhahaha! ;)

**TeaBoy83: **You wouldn't… :(

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **I'll think about it, depends on how good the pasta is you bring me!

**TeaBoy83: **Blackmail! *Cough cough*

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Meh!

**TeaBoy83: **Sorry about the late reply, Jack was messing around…Again!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **S'alright, why are you on here talking to me anyway, surely you must be relaxing and enjoying your day off!

**TeaBoy83: **Oh I am! But I'm on strict instructions not to disturb him during his "Tanning-Time"

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **HAHAHAHAH! Omg! He's already orange what's he need to tan for!

**TeaBoy83: **That's what I said, but then it lead to me sun-bathing as well (which I NEVER do by the way!) and now I'm paying for it in sun-burn :(

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **I swear he uses fake tan though!

**TeaBoy83: **Oh, he does, I had to put it on him once, I was scrubbing my hand for months! It went bright orange!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Surely you should know you wear gloves when doing these things *tut tut*

**TeaBoy83: **I did! But Jack thought it would be funny to pierce holes in them :( Got him back though!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **I bet you did! What did you do?

**TeaBoy83: **I drew an 'I' on his back! Ahahaha! See I'm marking him!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Mowhaha! How dya do that?

**TeaBoy83: **I left that area white, and didn't put fake tan on it, in the shape of an 'I'…im quite proud of it! When he noticed he went MAD!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Bet it was worth it though!

**TeaBoy83: **Definatley! (Oh, and Jack's just hit me round the head because I said he was orange, I think I'm filling for domestic abuse)

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Ahw trouble in paradise! Hit him back!

**TeaBoy83: **I would, if he didn't like it so much…

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Anyywayyyyy! I bet Jack's loving the cyclists!

**TeaBoy83: **You read my mind! I was just about to tell you about the 'Incident'!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **'The Incident'?

**TeaBoy83: **Well basically, the cyclists were cycling…

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **As they do…

**TeaBoy83: **And Jack kinda stood out in the road, they all got temporarily distracted and a fair amount of them fell of their bikes…

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Ouch! I bet that did wonders for his inflating ego though!

**TeaBoy83: **It did indeed! He won't stop mentioning it! We was at this restaurant yesterday getting lunch and he told every waiter/waitress that came over to our table! I swear he called them over just to tell the story!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Sounds like him! I don't know how you put up with him!

**TeaBoy83: **Neither do i!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Sooo Gwen wants to know when you're coming back?

**TeaBoy83: **Pull the other one! Your missing me aren't you?

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **No!...I mean its not like I don't miss seeing you drop by the office, but it was Gwen! Not me!

**TeaBoy83: **Yeah right! You misssssssed meeeee! You have the biggest man crush on me! Its flattering! Although I'm taken…not that Jack would mind though…

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **I don't not have a 'Man-Crush' on you! Cheek! And Jack really wouldn't mind you seeing someone else?

**TeaBoy83: **Not 'seeing them' per say, but he likes to *watch* f you get what I mean?

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **He's a sick man!

**TeaBoy83: **It's like were in a pub and he's like, 'oh he would be nice' you know, hinting, but I've told him I'm not comfortable with the idea, but it don't stop him bloody bringing it up every time he sees a cute guys at the bar!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Poor Yan-toes :(

**TeaBoy83: **I need all the sympathy I can get!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Of course you do! You're in a relationship with Jack Blood Harkness!

**TeaBoy83: **Don't forget the 'Captain' part! He ALWAYS mentions that!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Shame on him!

**TeaBoy83: **Next time we see him we should both look at him at the same time and say 'Shame on you' like in unison and freak him outttt! Ahahahahaha!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Omg Yes!

**TeaBoy83: **We're Genius'!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Of course we are!

**TeaBoy83: **So has Gwen said anything about work?

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Missing it already are ya?

**TeaBoy83: **I miss my archives and coffee machine this much!

[ - ]

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **That was adorable, and I don't use that phrase very often!

**TeaBoy83: **That's it! I'm telling Gwen you called me adorable! Mowhaha!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Heeeeeeey! No fair!

**TeaBoy83: **Naw, I wouldn't dare, I know what you're like when your 'in da zone' its pretty scary!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **That traffic cone did take a battering if I do say so myself! Haha!

**TeaBoy83: **Did you put it in your boot?

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Yes! I took it home and now it's a very wonky plant pot with a bent sunflower in it! (Fake one of course)

**TeaBoy83: **I should arrest you…but I'm saving that for another day ;)

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **You not that police! Although, you could probably get the missus to do it…

**TeaBoy83: **Oooh! I should! That would be hilarious!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **For you maybe, have you seen how she yanks your arms behind your back! She'll dislocate your shoulder!

**TeaBoy83: **I know from experience that a dislocated shoulder KILLS!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **When did you get a dislocated shoulder?

**TeaBoy83: **You were there you should know!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **OOOH! The whole warehouse thing-ma-jig!

**TeaBoy83: **Yes that!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Ouch…

**TeaBoy83: **Ouch indeed! Although Jack decided he was going to make it up to me after, so meh!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast:** And to think I didn't get any rewards from Gwen :(

**TeaBoy83: **A big, strong man like you helping the might Captain Jack out of a tight spot! People will talk!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Pfffffft! Cheek! You make everything sound so dirty! Naughty man!

**TeaBoy83: **Hehe! What can I say it's a gift!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **That it is!

**TeaBoy83: **Well I better go, Jack chatting up the concierge…joy!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Oooh! What you gunna do!

**TeaBoy83: **Make him payyyyyyy MWOAHAHAHAHAHA!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Make him jealous! He'll hate that!

**TeaBoy83: **You know, I might just do that. Or take scissors to his coat!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **OOOOsh! He'd hate that! He LOVES that coat!

**TeaBoy83: **Don't I know it! But I better not, 'cos I know it'll be me sewing it up!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **It's an excuse to get out your needle a thread and be a wife for 10 minutes!

**TeaBoy83: **He's tried to get me in a French maid outfit. Not. Gunna. Happen. EVER!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **EWWWW!

**TeaBoy83: **So I made him wear it instead! Ahahahaha!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Ooops, okay, I'm gunna let you go, the wife's ringing again!

**TeaBoy83: **Okayyyyy! Good luck!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **You too! Tell me how 'Operation Jealously' goes!

**TeaBoy83: **Oh I will! Don't you worry! Byeeeeeee!

**HarwoodsEnthusiast: **Byeeee :)

**TeaBoy83 **is offline.

**HarwoodsEnthusiast **is offline.


End file.
